The paint store lady gave us a brochure on the latest trends in exterior paint colors for houses. The colors were various shades of brown. My husband selected three; I selected three. We took our six sample cans home, and painted 20 inch squares on the southwestern side of the house. Two coats.
The next morning as I was looking at the various shades and hues, all I could think of was "baby shit brown". That afternoon, I checked the colors again in the afternoon light. Again, "baby shit brown" popped into my head.
I have seen a lot of baby shit, involuntarily. I was pressed into babysitting my three younger brothers at a very young age. If you are changing six to ten diapers a day, you have seen a lot of baby shit. Depending on what the baby ate, and the general state of his health, you could have dark brown baby shit or light brown baby shit or yellowish brown baby shit or baby shit with a pinkish brown hue. In other words, most hues, tones, shades of the brown color family are well represented by baby shit.
From this and other experiences with my three younger brothers, I determined that motherhood was not for me. In case it is not obvious, there is nothing intellectually stimulating or challenging with infant care. It is, in fact, really boring, really tedious, and very unrewarding. This is particularly true if the baby is not yours.
Reading a book, traveling to historic sites, learning a foreign language, attending a play -- these are stimulating experiences. The endless drudgery of diaper changing, well, not so much. I suppose JD Vance would say "Well that's just you. Most women relish childcare and we cherish and reward mothers."
Nope. I don't think so. Here's why.
America is all about money. We value money. We admire people with a lot of money. We dole out rewards based on money. Money permeates the soul of America. We pay CEOs, major league athletes, celebrities, and other performance artists huge sums of money -- in the millions of dollars. What do we pay child care workers?
If it is your own child, you receive no compensation.
If you have to pay for childcare, it is about $16,945 annually (1).
Most significantly, if you are a child care worker, you earn just about minimum wage, between $22,450 and $36,200 annually (2).
Let's compare that to CEO compensation. Of the top 100 CEOs, the first one earns $198 million and the one on the bottom of the list earns $33 million (3).
Do we really value child care? In American society, where your value is represented by your earnings and/or your wealth, the people of value are at least 900 times more valuable than a child care worker. Worse, if it is your own child you have no value at all.
Of course, motivations like avoiding loneliness or requiring assistance in old age inform many decisions to bear children. While very compelling reasons more than one hundred years ago, one must question these reasons today. They have no validity.
Massive opportunities to connect with others of like mind and like values exist today, representing and resembling prior family connections. Better yet, they are by choice and not by blood. Many of our blood relations do not represent people we would select as family.
In about twenty years, robots will assist the elderly requiring help. The robots will administer medications, bathe us, assist with other bodily functions, and provide companionship. The long suffering caregiver spouse or child will disappear, and a better end-of-life relationship will emerge.
So, what about the paint color for the house? My favorite from the Dunn-Edwards Paints' New Neutrals Collection is "Distillery". "Distillery is a warm neutral color inspired by aged whisky barrels." To me, Distillery has absolutely no resemblance to the contents of a soiled diaper, and that is just fine by me.
(1). https://tootris.com/edu/blog/parents/cost-of-child-care-in-california-by-city-age-and-type-of-care-provider/
(2) Bureau of Labor Statistics: https://www.bls.gov/oes/current/oes399011.htm#:~:text=National%20estimates%20for%20Childcare%20Workers:%20;%20Hourly,22%2C450%2C%20$%2027%2C040%2C%20$%2030%2C370%2C%20$%2036%2C200
(3). https://www.equilar.com/reports/111-table-equilar-new-york-times-top-100-highest-paid-ceos-2024.html
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