Not a laughing matter - Hillary Clinton's Presidential Candidacy

I recently spoke with my 81 year old father who asked me how I was doing.

I told him I was disappointed that we would not have a female president for the next four years.

My father laughed.

I do not feel that was an appropriate response. It was disrespectful. It was unsympathetic. It was tasteless.

My father is supporting John McCain. I respect my father's right to vote for the candidate that he feels will be best.

If and when John McCain loses the presidential election, I am sure my father will be disappointed. When we talk again after that event, my father might express his disappointment that a fine and noble man who served his country honorably in Viet Nam and was a POW for more than five years will not become president.

I will not laugh at that. I will say that, yes, it is disappointing that someone who suffered so much for his country was not judged by the majority of Americans to be the best person to be president.

I respect John McCain. I respect his contribution to his country. I respect his patriotism. It is my personal judgment that he is not the right person to be president of the U.S. But I will not laugh at those who think he is.

Oh the Joys of Being an American Express Merchant

I am sure that the presidents of large corporations like American Express do not lay awake at night figuring out how they can undermine and depress the presidents of smaller corporations like InterWorking Labs.

I suppose, like all of us, it is a real challenge for American Express to recruit, develop, and retain capable staff.

It would be nice if they could correct their mistakes in a timely manner, though.

================================

April 21, 2008

Mr. William H. Glenn

President

Establishment Services North America

American Express

P.O. Box 53601

Phoenix, AZ 85072

Dear Mr. Glenn,

Thank you very much for your letter of August 3, 2007 welcoming us as a new merchant for American Express cards. After six months, we have found that our customers prefer to pay with American Express and our business has increased as a result of this.

We are having a little difficulty with your staff in determining best practices for reconciliation of our American Express account. Specifically, we are having a difficult time matching up the transactions from our online Wells Fargo bank statement with each American Express transaction in our online store/backend.

When reviewing our online bank statement, we see entries for "American Express Settlement". Each of these entries has a date, an amount, our American Express merchant number and another mysterious number that is unique for each transaction. The mysterious unique number is six digits long and starts with 08.

We called American Express Merchant Services. We talked to "Kimberlin" at 800.528.5200 option 1, then 1 again.

Kimberlin advises that it is up to the merchant to keep track of his own transactions. We thanked her for that information and told her that we, in fact, were keeping track of the transactions. We further advised Kimberlin that we were trying to figure out how to match up the information from our online store/backend processor with what appears to be a unique six-digit American Express number on our Wells Fargo bank statement, and that we could not find any connection.

Kimberlin advised us that American Express would not disclose its customers' credit card numbers. We thanked her for that information, and told her that we, in fact, were not asking for customer credit card numbers, nor were we recording those numbers, and that we were simply looking for a way to reconcile the bank statement information with our American Express credit card transactions.

Kimberlin advised us that it was not possible to match American Express transaction information with bank statement information. This time we did not thank her for that information, but told her that we were positive that she was wrong. We pointed out that in Venice in 1494, Luca Pacioli, introduced the concept of double-entry accounting, which was widely adopted by all of Western civilization and is incorporated in GAAP and FASB in the United States.

In our situation, double-entry accounting means that if we have 100 transactions on March 25 for $1527.00, and we have recorded this in our online store, THEN, we should be able to look at our bank deposit activity and also find 100 deposits on March 25 or 26 for $1527.00 credited to our account. We explained that double-entry accounting is a fundamental concept that allows checks and balances to exist, and helps eliminate accounting errors.

We asked Kimberlin to explain to us what would happen if we recorded 100 transactions on March 25 for $1527.00 each, but our Wells Fargo bank statement reflected 95 transactions on March 25 for $1527.00 each. How would we figure out what transactions were missing?

Kimberlin said that in that case we would call American Express Merchant Services and we would go through every single transaction until we identified, on the phone, the missing transactions.

At this point, I requested that Kimberlin have her manager call me. However, I felt that while I wait for the manager’s reply, I should contact you. The reason I am contacting you is that I would like to invite you to contemplate, along with me, some really large merchants with very high volume, for example, Amazon.com. Do you think that Amazon.com, which might have, oh, 4,500 transactions for the same amount in a single day, and finds that their online bank shows only 4,439 transactions for the same amount in a single day, is going to call up American Express and go through each transaction, one by one, on the phone? I find that extremely doubtful.

Perhaps you could crack the code for us on how other merchants do this reconciliation? I am sure it has something to do with that six-digit number starting with 08.

Thanks for your help on this.

Sincerely yours,

Chris Wellens

President & CEO

Yes... packs of Harleys *ARE* illegal in California

This morning a very large gaggle of Harley Davidsons roared past our house in our normally quiet neighborhood. The noise was deafening. About 50 motorcycles! It went on for several minutes. My husband called the police. This is the Santa Cruz, California Police (Telephone +1.831.471.1131).

My husband reached Bill, the police officer on dispatch duty. Bill listened to the complaint and said there was nothing he could do about it because "riding a motorcycle is not illegal". Just then another wave of 50 Harleys passed through, my husband had to speak more loudly and Bill told my husband to "stop shouting". Bill refused to give his last name. He just gave a number, #582, but he refused to explain what the number was -- his badge number? his employee ID number?

Bill is right that riding a motorcycle is not illegal.

But Bill is wrong in that the riders are engaging in an illegal activity. Specifically, they are riding illegal bikes and violating a city ordinance and a California vehicle code:

(1) The Harley Davidson motorycles they are riding are not lawful vehicles; they are modified to produce more noise, specifically 116 decibels. The noise exceeds the legal decibel level permitted according to California Vehicle Code 27202 (80 decibels). Therefore, they are not driving lawful vehicles.

(2) Santa Cruz Ordinance 9.36.020 Section B restricts the amount of noise a person can make:

"9.36.020 UNREASONABLY DISTURBING NOISES. No person shall make, cause, suffer or permit to be made any noises or sounds (a) which are unreasonably disturbing or physically annoying to people of ordinary sensitiveness or which are so harsh or so prolonged or unnatural or unusual in their use, time or place as to cause physical discomfort to any person, and (b) which are not necessary in connection with an activity which is otherwise lawfully conducted..."

The key point here is section (b). Riding a motorcycle is normally a lawful activity; riding a motorcycle modified to make noise that violates that California vehicle code is unlawful.

It is a $100 fine. With 100 Harley riders that would have been $10,000 in fines had the police been doing their job this morning.

Under another theory, an organized group of Harley Davidson riders occupying most of the street is a parade or an assembly, and that requires a permit, and while I am unable to check (since it is a Saturday), I am 99% certain that they do not have a permit.

So why doesn't Bill, the dispatch police officer, understand this? Did Bill get poor police training from the Santa Cruz police department? Did our California educational system fail him?

Since "repetition is the key to learning", please call the phone number above at the Santa Cruz police department, and ask the police what they plan to do about enforcing the law regarding these illegal bikes and the deafening noise they produce that violates both California law and the City of Santa Cruz ordinance.

Thanks!

PG&E: Pathetic Gas & Electric

Supposedly I live in one of the most technically advanced nations on earth. I certainly pay taxes as if I do. So why is it that here in Santa Cruz County a mere rain storm with some wind knocks out the power? And, why is it that PG&E cannot restore the power within 24 hours?

My home has had no electricity since January 4th at 10 a.m. It is now January 5th at 3:30 p.m. That's 29 1/2 hours without electricity. YES, twenty-nine and one half hours! YES, a day and a half ! And it is still off!

My office was without electricity from January 4th at 9 a.m. until January 4th at 11:00 p.m. That's fourteen hours.

I grabbed my laptop and drove to the nearest coffee shop with wireless Internet access. The coffee shop was so crowded, it wasn't even standing room only. People were outside with their laptops under the awnings in the pouring rain, running off batteries trying to hook up to the Internet. I went to two other locations -- same thing. So I gave up.


By the way, I also spent $27,000 last year installing solar panels on my roof to generate electricity. However, for the last 29 1/2 hours the inverter cannot generate the power because it won't operate unless the power grid is up.

Here I am, a concerned citizen, using solar panels to generate my own power and provide the excess to PG&E, yet Pathetic Gas & Electric still cannot deliver the electricity.

I think it is time to organize a revolution.

Power to the People!

Last ten years of Silicon Valley now immortalized

I just watched "Here Comes another Bubble" a satirical video posted on YouTube, produced by The Richter Scales, a San Francisco Bay Area a capella group.

This absolutely captures Silicon Valley perfectly and is absolutely the best thing I have seen on YouTube.

Rest in Peace: Moliere Auerbach 1997 - 2007

On Thursday, November 1, 2007, we had to make a terrible decision. As Dr. Janet Brennan, our veterinarian said: "It is the most difficult choice for you, but the best choice for your pet".

Moliere Auerbach, our beloved cat, had renal failure beyond hope.

I keep my mind focussed on what a great cat he was.
He was both prey and predator. As prey he successfully avoided the
coyotes, mountain lions, and the traffic in front of our house that
had gotten many of his predecessors. As a predator he was awesome.
He came home every night with a mouse. He tolerated his pesky little
brother. He never asked for much. He had a great life. We have
never had a cat get old enough to die of natural causes before. We
were good parents.

Karl and I conducted our own private funeral service. Moliere is buried on top of a little cliff in our back yard where he often perched to scout out unsuspecting mice. We recited Tennyson's "Crossing the Bar". It was a beautiful fall day, perfect for hunting, so it all seemed right.

Rest in Peace, Moliere. We loved you!

Mrs. Magoo Goes Touring in Her New BMW X3

Mrs. Magoo needed a new car. She needed a car for hauling computers to tradeshows, for taking customers to lunch, and for the occasional ski trip. She looked at lots of cars. The Prius was too small. The Ford Escape and the Honda CRX had too hard of a ride (like a truck), the Toyota Highlander was absurdly expensive for what you got, the Lexus RX350 was too "girly".

What car should she get? Nothing seemed to fit.

Finally she decided on the BMW X3. Why? Because Mrs. Magoo really likes Cliff Gaston at BMW of Monterey. A few years back, Cliff helped Mr. Magoo lease his BMW 325ci and Mr. Magoo loves driving about in his midnight blue convertible.

Cliff is a straight shooter. He is helpful, knowledgeable, and could answer all of the Magoo's questions. Cliff knows the competition. Cliff also knows how to navigate through all the paperwork for lease deals. Cliff knows how to get the right accessories. Cliff is perfect. Cliff makes getting a new car a fun, smooth, and easy experience.

So Mrs. Magoo got a new BMW X3 from Cliff Gaston.

Then, Mr. and Mrs. Magoo drove the X3 from Santa Cruz to Mammoth Mountain in the Eastern Sierras.

First thing they noticed was the sun roof. The sun roof on the X3 is huge! Push a button and most of the top of the car slides backwards. Mrs. Magoo thought it was better than Mr. Magoo's convertible because the air wasn't whipping her hair in her face and messing up her makeup and lipstick. Mr. Magoo rolled his eyes and said it was hardly the same as his 325ci.

But then, Mrs. Magoo noticed that with Mr. Magoo in the front seat, she had to put her purse in the back. Not good! Mrs. Magoo used to drive a Dodge Caravan with floor space between the two front seats which made it very handy to put her purse there.

Then, sometimes if Mrs. Magoo had a lot of stuff in her purse and she put it on the passenger seat, the seat belt alarm went off! The X3 cannot tell the difference between a passenger and a purse. Sigh. Maybe German women do not carry purses?

By now it was getting dark on the way to Mammoth Mountain, and the next thing Mrs. Magoo noticed were the headlights. Oh my goodness, with the BMW headlights it was practically day time, and when she drove around the tight corners on the mountain pass, there was a kind of side light off the front fender that lit up the curve for better visibility. This was very nice because Mrs. Magoo does not have the best night vision. She loses her depth perception and everything gets kind of flat which is fairly dangerous. Thankfully the X3 has eliminated a lot of that danger.

Now the Magoos decided it would be nice to have some music. Mr. Magoo plugged in the iPod attachment and pushed the buttons. Strangely, the iPod attachment is behind the driver's seat, so after plugging in the cord, the only place to put the iPod is on the console between the front seats. This is very strange. It would be much more convenient to plug in the iPod from the glove compartment. But anyway, soon they were listening to Allison Krause.

Since Mrs. Magoo has "no sense of direction" as Mr. Magoo frequently points out, Mr. Magoo insisted that Mrs. Magoo's X3 have the navigation system.

Mrs. Magoo loves the nav system and the polite female voice telling her things like "in 600 feet turn left". Mrs. Magoo is a Very Important Person with a Lot on Her Mind, so she tends to miss exits and turns because she cannot be bothered with details. Now the polite female in the X3 gently reminds Mrs. Magoo about what to do next.

With Allison Krause singing, and the cold night hair coming in from the roof, and the beautiful stars in the night sky, the Magoos are really enjoying their ride. Suddenly a female voice screams "in 100 feet turn right". "ARRGH" both the Magoos scream and jump up two inches in their seats.

Well... ahem... it seems that there is no audio calibration between the iPod and the X3 nav system. Now how could BMW have possibly missed this? The Apple iPod folks and the BMW X3 folks have not had a "sit down" to plan how these two products should be integrated. Many very basic things are missing. For example, when listening to the radio, the BMW X3 displays the artist and the name of the song that is playing on the nav system screen. Apparently if the radio station broadcasts this information the BMW X3 can capture it and display it. The Apple iPod has the same information, but it is not displayed. Why not? Because there has been no "sit down".

Wake up Apple! Wake up BMW! Sit down and have coffee together.

Of course, the next thing that happened is Mrs. Magoo, having such a fright from the screaming voice, momentarily lost control of the car, but, in the nick of time, corrected the steering and the car was safely between the two white lines. Such a maneuver in her Dodge Caravan would surely have flipped that thing or caused it to fishtail. Although Mrs. Magoo never dreamed she would ever require the performance driving features of the X3, in this particular instance, she was glad the X3 responded so well.

After all of that, the Magoos turned off the navigation system and just listened to the iPod and Mr. Magoo decided he should drive for a while.

Mr. Magoo is a white knuckle driver with his hands on the steering wheel in an odd configuration. Instead of 10 and 2 o'clock, Mr. Magoo's hands are at 11:45 at 12:15. Mr. Magoo constantly "corrects" the steering. On other cars, such as the Dodge Caravan, if you move the steering wheel an inch to the right or an inch to the left, almost nothing happens. On the X3, however, slight changes in the steering wheel cause the car to instantly respond. Thus, if you happen to sit in the back seat with Mr. Magoo driving, you are definitely prone to vertigo and car sickness as you feel like you are being whipped all over the road.

Mrs. Magoo has looked for a button called "make the steering more sloppy" to press when Mr. Magoo is driving, but so far she has not found this.

The next day, the Magoos head out early. Early for them. At about 10 a.m. they see the sign that the Tioga Pass is closed. The Magoos walk around a bit, and then head over to the Sonora Pass. Oh this will be a long day of driving.

As Mrs. Magoo gets into the car to take over the driving, once again, the car frame hook scrapes her bottom. For some odd reason, the BMW X3 has a little hook in the frame exactly where one's bottom needs to be to get into the driver's seat. The only way to avoid it is to attempt to pivot forward from the hips when entering the car. Maybe German ladies have smaller derrieres? No. Mrs. Magoo has been to Munich and recalls viewing many ladies' bottoms more "fluffy" than her own.

Mrs. Magoo drives along the Sonora Pass pulling over frequently to admire the view. She notes a little "ding ding ding". Oh this is so delightful; the X3 gives a little warning when one is getting too close to the curb. Mrs. Magoo is quite embarrassed to admit that she has destroyed the tires on her other vehicles due to some poor judgments while parking. Now the X3 will help her with her parking challenges. Oh and another little surprise, the outside mirror on the passenger side tilts down while backing up. Something else to aid with the parking challenges. Very nice.

There are many other fine features on the X3 such as the marvelous interior bike rack that looks like a piece of fine modern sculpture from a fancy New York Art Museum. The Magoos have not used it quite yet.

All in all it was a fine motoring experience. If you would like to have one yourself, just contact Cliff Gaston.